who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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