Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
