So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It was like getting head from an anaconda
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
