Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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