she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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