Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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