just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize