Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
cat food counts as protein by the way
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
