It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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