i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
