We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
