Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
