This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
