Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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