Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
