Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
