I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
