The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
