I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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