mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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