i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
