Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
