Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize