i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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