Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
