I love black thongs
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
