I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
