Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize