Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
