I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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