Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
