do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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