pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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