apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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