come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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