And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
