Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
