Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
