Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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