Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
