Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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