He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
