My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Randomize
