There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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