my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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