i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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