no. you can't hotbox the world.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
