i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
