My first STD was from a foam party
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
