saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
