Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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