woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
