No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
