I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
