Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
