My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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