i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
