3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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