listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize