Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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