he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
